Two great men...

Two great men I have had the honor to know are Josh and Christopher. Nether I knew well, and nether i hold memories of. The thing about these two men though are they have both effected my life beyond normal means. They both died on the same day, of the same month and are buried in the same Graveyard. Christopher, my father was killed in a car accident on impact. He was not wearing his seat belt, but in this case, it did not matter, because he was hit by a simi-truck. He has shown me how cruel life can be, as he died when I was five. I learned that the world takes life without hesitation, without thought, without remorse. Josh did not effect me in such a powerful way. He tought me that no matter how comfortable I may be in my surrondings that I need to maintain constant vigilence. I need to be careful, and I need to make sure that I do all in my power to keep those away from that which may harm them.

These two great men have effected me so, and I honor them.

Death

When a person we know is gone, forever lost in the eternal blackness of grim death itself, people can always look about the situation differently. People sometimes break down and cry for days, refuseing to eat, refusing to sleep, refusing to do ANYTHING. Some Are unaffected, more so the heart-less ones who say 'At least it wasn't me.' Some are unable to cope and are mentally unstable after the event. Me, I was effected in a way of uncareing. I lost my dad, and I was unable to care, because i was five years old. I did not understand. I remember stareing down at his face, laying peacefully in his coffin. I cannot explain how badly it hurts now, but I have learned to live. I have buried my pain in a shell, forceing all emotion to stop from penetrateing. This was at age five. At age 14 I lost a friend, Josh. I really did not know him that well, I knew him because of his girlfriend. I felt as if it was increasingly painful when he died, I saw all these people just crying, just tears of bitter anger, of pain, of inability to understand why, and I hear someone tell me, 'It is one less Goth.' It pisses me off. I have to stand up for these people I know how it is to loose, but this is not right, you do NOT say that. Ever. You need to give these people time, otherwise, you may be the next one to lay down for all eternity. People with this kind of grief cannot possibly control themselves, do not give them reason to harm when they are uncertain how to act.